28/11/2016 - Mummy's Birthday

My mother is 84 today. She is gorgeous and she is magnificent. She can hardly walk and is bent double with osteoporosis and has big open wounds on her legs due to ulcers which give her constant pain so she's not very able, but always says what a nice life she has. She's so amazing and positive.  I rang her to say happy birthday and had a bit of a chat and she's had some lovely presents. She loved my painting that I sent her, but she is my mother so that doesn't really mean much! She said she wants to leave something in her will to Jane, Paul and Pietro and Catherine - just in case she doesn't get around to changing her will we will remember.

I really need to lose some weight. More of that tomorrow.

It is now five past three and I've managed to walk the dogs ( lovely - very mild for November and windy) make the spinach lasagne, painted a card for my mother's birthday, which is okay -not good by any stretch but it's my first painting for years so it is a start to my next career! I've messaged Sam and she hasn't replied so perhaps she's busy today and now I'm off out to do the lavender. My arm aches but I feel I'm getting better. So all is good in the world (well, in my little bit of it). That was November 2016 (last year) and is now rather depressing as my arm was not better and I've had to have another operation since then? It's about ten days till my next X-ray -God, I really hope that this most recent bone graft has worked. It does scare me that it is so painful. I really couldn't bear it if it never gets better. At the moment I can't do much and it really bothers me that I am so unfit and fat and all my joints hurt and nothing works properly. I haven't done any painting since then really, apart from a couple of Christmas cards for my siblings.

Bit of a catch up

I haven't blogged since 2012 and it is now 2016 but that is no excuse not to restart! Life hasn't really changed all that much - except that the children are grown up - Fenella is 21 and Gus is 19 and they are both at Poitiers University and living in Poitiers. Harriet is in Première at Lycée and Freddy is in his final year of collège, and doing his Brevet this summer. Pippa has sent me lovely notebooks and is always encouraging me to write my story but it is hard to find the time or the inclination so I thought this might be a good solution. We have had a very wet and rather mild winter this year but now 14 days of sunshine are forecast. At the beginning of November 2015 I had a massive car crash: someone crashed into me on the N147 head on - nobody knows why he was driving on the wrong side of the road and I didn't see him till it was too late because we went into each other on the brow of a hill. I just saw him at the last minute and manged to swerve slightly right towards the verge, which probably saved both our lives. There were a couple of witnesses, thank heavens, who called the pompiers. It took them three hours to cut me out of the wreckage and then they took me to Urgences where I stayed all night. It's nearly a year ago now and I was off my head on various concoctions so I can't remember much about it; I do remember being really thirsty and asking for a drink but they couldn't give me a drink in case I needed an operation and had to have a general anesthetic so they had some swabs - the equivalent of a cotton bud soaked in water which they wiped around my mouth. This went on for nearly 48 hours and my most powerful memory of that time is the incredible thirst and thinking when will they operate so I can have a drink of water.. Well, in the event they didn't take me down for the operation (to try and fix a broken arm) until late Wednesday afternoon, And when they brought me back to my hospital room they still wouldn't let me have a glass of water for three hours!. I stayed in hospital for eleven days -I don't remember all that much about it now (I have let a year go by without writing about it! ) Fenella was marvelous as she was in Poitiers and came and just sat with me quite a lot  I am still so grateful to her as I felt that she really had a very good understanding of what I needed at that time. Anyway, here we are on November 21st a year later and  my arm is still not mended. In fact, it is more painful at the moment than it has been all along; it stings (not constantly but in twinges)  and I don't have a very good range of movement. I'm going to start 1:1 yoga with our new friend Lucy as my whole body feels like it is getting very old. My hips and lower back hurt most of the time and my knees still don't feel right, although that is the nerves near the skin that aren't properly mended yet.

The other thing that I've been meaning to get around to this year is to paint. I've always wanted to be an artist, although this was drummed out of me at New Hall - what a terrible school that was looking back. They made me feel useless at everything - perhaps that was just the times but I don't remember ever feeling that there was something I was good at! I always felt like a weirdo, although I did make some good friends there. I was very happy there and we had some wonderful times building a really great den in the field inside a blackberry bush which kept us amused every weekend until we went into the sixth form I think, when ze began to find it more amusing to get drunk. Anyway, oh, this bath is so hot, I'm sweating and I think I should wash myself and get up. Well, I'm still in the bath, sitting here with my Aussie three minute miracle on my hair, but it's  not practical as my specs keep fogging up. Anyway, I must get up as I've got so much I want to do today: take the dogs for a walk; paint a picture for my mother's birthday card, make a spinach lasagne for supper, trim the lavender for the winter and go and visit my lovely friend Sam Bird. It is already 10.39 and I'm still Sitting in the bath with my winter remedy on my head. I must go more later.